For this book autopsy, I have read a book by Canadian author Henry Makow called A Long Way to go for a Date. The book is about the author's experiences traveling to the Philippines to meet a woman he's met through a correspondence service. This story takes place in 1998, where dial-up ruled the Internet and cell phone technology was in its infancy. He goes there as a late 40's man, there to meet a girl for marriage that's nearly half his age. Do I have your attention yet?
Having been to the Philippines many times and having travelled throughout Manila and several different provinces, I've seen a few of the areas that are discussed by Makow. He describes life in rural provinces very well, with many Filipinos in those areas working long and hard hours for low pay just to support their families.
Makow labels himself as a man scarred by Feminism and the expectations of Western women and he is unapologetic in wanting a woman who is submissive and who wants a more "traditional" household. On the back of this book, it is described as an "ironic, politically incorrect diary of a quest for masculine identity". It is most certainly filled with irony and politically incorrect language and situations. Makow seems to be author who has indeed lost his "masculine identity" since his divorce. Yes, he's divorced and has a son from his first marriage.
As for the story itself, he decides to embark on a journey to find a second wife; this time, in the Philippines. To say that Makow is culturally inept would be accurate. He has a very hard time adjusting to Filipino culture and just refuses to accept some of the cultural norms of the Philippines. In the long run, it's his loss. He uses many humorous anecdotes in his ultimately unsuccessful efforts to appreciate Filipino culture. Personally, I have a deep admiration for the Filipino people who have learned to live a simple life; a simple life that sometimes involves hard work for low pay. This is something I could never do, I'll admit it. The Philippines has a rich and deep culture, some of which can only be truly appreciated by born and raised Filipinos.
The story follows Makow as he meets Cecilia, his future bride, as well as her friends and family. It follows his trials and tribulations in relating to her and arranging for their marriage. It also shows why a late 40's man should never marry a woman who isn't even 20, no matter where he's from. There's just an incredible difference in maturity. Haven't you all heard of the half plus seven rule? A man should only consider dating a woman who is no younger than half his age plus seven years. By that math, a 46 year old man shouldn't date someone younger than 30. The age difference goes for both genders…immaturity at that age isn't gender-specific. And if you're 18-21 now and think I'm a jerk for saying that, wait until you're 30 and take another look at that age group. Cecilia, in the beginning of this tale, is a beautiful and thoughtful woman. Her parents are very hard working, particularly her father. When she can't find the right words to tell Makow how she feels, she takes the time to write letters to him in English, many of which are reproduced in this story. (Spoiler ahead, read on to last paragraph). However, as the story progresses, you will see that wedded bliss is not in the cards for her or Henry Makow.
As a future husband, he doesn't have patience with Filipino culture nor does he have it with his future wife. He doesn't sugarcoat things and speaks his mind plainly; whereas, in Filipino culture, some things are just better left unsaid or handled in private. Some readers of this book might throw Makow under the bus and blame everything on him. However, these readers apparently don't take into account the part of the book where Makow and Cecilia are trying to live a married life in Winnipeg where he resides. His once submissive bride takes to talking to 100's of men on the Internet, goes into fits of rage for minor reasons, trashes the house, has him falsely jailed for domestic abuse (more than once), and even gets jealous of his teenage son from his 1st marriage. I'm sorry, but no matter what he said or did previously, cut him some slack at that point. He finally manages to divorce her after nearly two years of being with her. Before the divorce is finalized, she flies to the US to meet up with a sailor stationed in San Diego, with Makow's blessings. She marries him less than six months after the divorce became final.
Now, for some of my final thoughts. I don't excuse Makow's behavior. He had no business marrying someone less than half his age. He clearly didn't respect or even understand a lot about Filipino culture. His motives for going to the Philippines for a woman were grounded in a dislike for the attitudes of Western woman, which is also wrong. In that regard, a man should marry a woman for who she is, not for the other women who are not. I don't excuse Cecilia's behavior, either. If she wanted to be with other men, she could have been the one to initiate the divorce, instead of making his life in Winnipeg a living hell. Henry Makow isn't one of the more well-known authors out there; however, A Long Way to go for a Date is a good read, particularly for those that are more culturally well-rounded.
-Jason A. Wright
